I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
