then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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