I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
