that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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