You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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