dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
