Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
