ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
