watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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