why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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