my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
