Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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