well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
