flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
