do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
