we have officially lost it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
