so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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