I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize