Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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