I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
