Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
