I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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