Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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