So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
