so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
