hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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