oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
