Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
