I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
