Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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