i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
