Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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