If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
