3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
