i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
