the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
