Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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