he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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