Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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