Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
