I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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