there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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