How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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