I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
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A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
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I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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