i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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