drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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