I wish I could punch you in the face.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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