her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Dick very happy bro
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize