how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
