I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
