he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
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I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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