You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
