I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
