Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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