He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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