Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
