i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
